September 11, 2008
Name: RN Clara Hart
Posting date: 9/11/08
Stationed in: a civilian military hospital in the U.S.
Milblog url: www.mcneillysperspective.blogspot.com
Today is that day of the year I dread more than any other. It’s a day filled with infinite sadness and painful memories. It’s a day I’d rather sleep through than participate in.
“It’s just another day,” some would say. “Aren’t you over that by now?” others would ask. No, it’s not and no I don’t think I ever will be. Has the hurt lessened? Yes, but it’s still there. Perhaps some would say, “Get over it already, Clara”. I try, trust me on this, I do so try.
I was invited to a memorial service, a service dedicated to those killed, a dedication in which a memorial was to be unveiled. I chose not to go. Most years I do go. I go on the walks and the runs and the bike rides, all to remember. All to say I have not forgotten. Most years on Sept 10th I head to the cemetery to place flowers on graves of my loved ones. I go on the 10th because I am too much of a coward to face the other families. This year I could not go. I didn’t want to face it, the knowledge that another year has gone by, another year without those who hold a special place in my heart.
I believe it is harder for me because of my job. For some reason in my mind September 11th and the wounded I care for have become intertwined.
Aerovacs came in last night, five more soldiers missing limbs, bodies damaged and shredded, critically injured. For four years now I have watched aerovacs arrive and wounded offloaded. I have wiped their tears, held their hands, talked with their families and rejoiced in their accomplishments and recoveries.
However I will always wonder, had September 11th, 2001 been “just another day”, would I be where I am?