The Sandbox

GWOT hot wash, straight from the wire

Welcome to The Sandbox, a forum for service members who have served or are currently serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, returned vets, spouses and caregivers. The Sandbox's focus is not on policy and partisanship (go to our Blowback page for that), but on the unclassified details of deployment -- the everyday, the extraordinary, the wonderful, the messed-up, the absurd. All correspondence is read, and as much as possible is posted, lightly edited. If you know someone who is deployed who might have something to say, please tell them about us. To submit a post click here.

SUSPECT'S CREED |

January 30, 2008

SUSPECT'S CREED
Name: The Usual Suspect
Posting date: 1/30/08
Stationed in: Iraq
Milblog url: theunlikelysoldier.blogspot.com

You won't see me kissing ass. You won't see me putting on a show bitching at other Joes to impress higher-up. You won't see me at an NCO board, because I've definitely scrapped the idea of shooting for Sergeant. That ain't me.

I won't be a Yes-Man. I won't take shit and smile about it. I will do what I can to keep myself out of trouble, generally. I won't fuck my buddies. I will always look out for my own. I will never take menial Garrison Bullshit seriously. I will do what I have to in order to scrape past said bullshit. I will take it all a day at a time.

I will hang on to my anger and my bitterness. I will not re-enlist. My deal with Uncle Sam was four years and I will do everything in my power to ensure that it stays that way. I will suffer assholes and idiots and leaders who know what's best but still piss me off. I will take it all with a grain of salt and will laugh on the inside because I know I'm being paid to endure this, and because I know that I will be out of the army in a year and a half (Godwilling).

I will bask in my disdain for the entire experience but will not take my buddies for granted. I'll enjoy my time with the greatest band of miscreants I will ever meet, and will be thoroughly bummed out when its time to bounce out for good.

I will party hard, I will blast metal at high volume. I will keep up a steady flow of my antics, unapologetically. I will maintain my degenerate character throughout all. I will continue to walk the thin line between Overall Good Guy and Shit Bag.

I will do what makes me proud. I will own up to my mistakes and embrace them because they will make the best memories. It'll all be over soon enough and no matter what, upon looking back I will regret not causing more chaos.

I will stick to what I feel is important and will humor the rest, in my own good humor. I will not be here forever, and will act accordingly.

But most importantly of all, I will take this strange life of mine and squeeze every last drop out of it, ravenously. It's mine and no one else's. I will not forget that. No one will break my spirit. An abrasive and defiant Fuck You, in whatever form, awaits anyone who suggests otherwise.

I will not lie down for anyone.

Wherever you are, in whatever situation you're in, maybe you need to throw a subtle or not-so-subtle Fuck You out there. No matter how big or small. A win is still a win. So that boss, that teacher, that neighbor, that stranger who cut you off or took your parking spot, that service provider that fucked you, that paperboy that smashed your window, that co-worker that undermined you, whoever or whatever it is that's getting you down, maybe they need a cold can of Fuck You. After all, Fuck You makes the world go round. It's the American Way, the last prevailing remnant of the Great American Dream. The people deserving your Fuck You have Fuck You's for someone else.

I've never been without someone or something deserving this treatment. So fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck him and her and this and that and everything in between. It always feels better afterwards. Small victories are still victories.

Comments

You didn't get drafted, you enlisted.

Yeah, you enlisted, so you've got the right to say what you think. You're there and sweating blood for that dubious privelege. We owe you at least the chance to think out loud and say what you really mean.

Years ago (1982) I was invited to a good friend's wedding where the only person I knew was the groom. The only formal attire I had at the time were my dress whites. At the weeding I was the only person in uniform and whites certainly stood out. At the reception a fair number of vets gravitatied to me and after a while (with the appropriate lubrication) the stories flowed. One fellow told me of the two years he had spent in the Army, two years that he said he hated nearly every day of. And then he said that, looking back, it was probably one of the best experiences of his life. No matter where you go in life you'll find more than a few assholes and learning how to deal with them is a lesson that some people never learn. It sounds like you've got the lesson checked off. It will serve you well in times to come.

Good luck and stay safe.

Pity the poor dickhead who got you on this rant. I figure you weren't able to give it to him/her and had to purge. Thanks for the "Fuckin-A-right" moment! Now get out there and plant that "yes sir" smile on your face and do what needs to be done and thanks for doing it for us all.

Great post. I am a total civilian (aside from the long marriage to a vet and brother who still walks point after almost forty years), but used the Don Henley song "I will not lie down" as the theme for my surprise divorce after 25 years of marriage. Got fired this week from a job- first time in my life, ten years after the divorce.

Still won't lie down. I have told several people that your posts are what got me hooked on this site. Thank you and keep on doing what you need to do.

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