HOMER

Entertainment Weekly’s cover story for June 4/11 is “The 100 Greatest Characters of the Last 20 Years,” and the biggest picture on the cover is of Homer Simpson. Of the 100 characters listed inside, 10 are cartoon characters. That’s 10 percent of this roll call of greatness, kimo sabe — attesting to the power and status of cartoon characters in modern American culture. Or in Entertainment Weekly anyhow. Here they are: at No. 80, Gorillaz (a British mash up of cartoon characters and pop music), Jimmy Corrigan (62), Stewie Griffin (45), Beavis and Butt-Head (32, from 1996), Kavalier & Clay (26, from Michael Chabon’s Pulitzer-winning novel), Woody (25, star of “Toy Story”), “South Park’s” Cartman (22), Spongebob Squarepants (10), The Joker (5, as played by Heath Ledger), and—fanfare, bugles, trumpets, wurlitzer —Homer Simpson at No. 1, The Greatest character of the last 20 years! The write-up about Homer, by Dan Snierson, starts: “He rages against inanimate objects. He gets into arguments with his own brain. He has forgotten the names of family members. (‘There’s five of us: Marge, Bart, girl Bart, the one who doesn’t talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.’)  He’s eaten everything from a hot dog at the bottom of a kiddie pool to a jar of petroleum jelly. He’s lazy, rash, and incompetent, not to mention a tragic speller (‘I am so smart! S-M-R-T!’). These are not good qualilties in a mate, friend, co-worker, or dad. They can, however, make for great comedy. For that reason—and hundreds more—EW is naming Homer Simpson the No. 1 character in pop culture in the last 20 years.”

Snierson quotes Dan Castellaneta, who has voiced Homer for 21 seasons: “One of the show’s writers, John Swartzwelder, said, ‘Homer’s a dog trapped inside a man’s body.’ He’s loyal, he’s lovable, but he’s got bad grooming habits and loves to wolf down whatever is in front of him.” And he goes on to speculate about how Homer will respond to the dubious distinction EW has bestowed: “As Homer might say, ‘I’m honored, confused, and hungry.’”

I’m not sure just how true this listing rings. Some choices seem foregone conclusions—Harry Potter and Jack Sparrow, f’instance; Buffy and Tony Soprano, Carrie Bradshaw, Lara Croft; but it seems a little premature to pick Sue Sylvester  of “Glee.”  And here’s Sharon Stone at No. 73, crossing her legs and not wearing underpants; I’m not sure it’s Sharon Stone that is the “character” on display, and the greatness of the “character” she is displaying is scarcely unique to the last 20 years of human existence.

And where are Calvin and Hobbes? Where’s beloved Opus, penguin of passion? Where’s Zonker? Where f’pete’s sake is Duke? Where’s the love gone? Fickle, thy name is Entertainment Weekly.

A week or so before his EW appearance, Homer showed up on the cover of the Sunday newspaper supplement, Parade, posing as an expert at barbecuing. An expert at consuming maybe.