BLISS CHICKEN

New Yorker cartooner Harry Bliss has designed a giant chicken for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). The 250-pound statue is decorated with red streaks and clots to suggest blood, and it’s standing with the aid of crutches. The plan is to park the monument in front of Mcdonald’s in downtown Denver in order to advertise to innocent passersby that the hamburger joint tolerates inhumane treatment of chickens. Lindsay Rajt, manager of PETA’s campaigns division, explained: “This is the national debut of our Crippled Chicken Statue, designed to target McDonald’s and to alert people to the horrifying animal abuse that goes on behind closed doors.” PETA alleges, wrote reporter Heather McWilliams, that slaughter house processes are “inhumane” and that McDonald’s should lead the way in demanding “less cruel” practices from its suppliers.

The first thing that raced through my banal brain pan was that killing chickens isn’t good for chickens no matter how humanely you do it. Then I wondered about the use of the word “inhumane.” Yes, I suppose killing chickens is unchicken-like, but “inhumane”? Are we supposed to treat chickens as kindly as we would humans? Is that what’s meant here?

I know: I’m being perverse. I suppose there are good ways to kill chickens and bad ways. And we should opt for the former.