Is the Corey Pandolph 5 a new adult-contemporary supergroup? No, you fool! It's Five Questions with arguably the most Infamous lower forehead hair in the industry.
1) What's the thinking behind "Angry Eyebrows"?
The ANGRY EYEBROWS comic concern was the brainchild of a combination
of lazy insanity and Maker's Mark Bourbon. Basically, I wanted to find a way to keep producing the three online strips, BARKEATER, TOBY and GREENE WITH ENVY, without doing all the work. Clumping them into one collective seemed the easiest way. Billing them as the three biggest failures of my career was my wife's idea.
She's a keeper. Plus she's hot.
2) You've been a vocal critic on almost any subject for years. Why are you so angry?
Subjects are an overrated fad. I'm currently stockpiling for the
coming worldwide social anarchy where no one is able to form a lucid
thought, and we all get high on ether and pop tarts.
Chaos is the new black.
I've been angry since Pat Duffy broke my turn table in 1981.
3) What scares you? (I'll be sure not to embarrass you and mention
your fear of hot lettuce here).
In this order:
> Dentists
> Chainsaws
> I Am Legend
> Mark Tatulli
> Ennui
...And you JG, a little bit.
4) Give me your visceral reaction to the Amy Sedaris statement "animals love snacks."
Lousy Vegans.
5) Freeform rant. Go!
I like pie. It works out well for me and how I want to operate. Now, there are some who say cake is better and that cake represents a shift to where bake goods of the future are going. That may be, but where are your numbers?
What's your proof? Anyone can buy a box of Duncan Hinds and have a cake. Those who bake pies have been doing it for years. Pie is hard to make, but it's the hard that makes it great. I've been living on pie for several years now and pie has provided a sustainable life for me and my family. I find it very difficult to believe that cake "all of the sudden" represents a better dessert model. There are those who claim that cake has brought them a satisfying 4th course for a few years now and that the time for pie is dead.
I say to these "cakedesserters", show me your gut. Let's see your
official weight gain numbers. You can't, because you have none. I'm
thinking that it may not be the cake that they're basing their claimed success on, but the fancy plating accessories that surround the cake ... The custom cake servers, the cake platters and pedestals, the cake toppers and decorations ... Are people excited about the quality of the dessert, or are they only latching on to cake for the fancy accoutrements?
Are these cakedesserters only "accessory salesman", putting the cart
before the horse, by concentrating on sales, instead of the merit of
their desserts? I think they may be.
Look, pie may be in trouble, but it is not dead. There are plenty of
great, quality pies out there and fresh, new talent coming up with new recipes everyday.
I look forward to a world where both pie and cake can be served at the same table, referred to equally as "dessert".
